


The Story of After

by KDblack



Series: KakaVege Week 2021 [3]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Gen, M/M, Post-Majin Buu Saga, being a fusion is rough, fusion meta, kakavegeweek2021, so is not being a fusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 04:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30083628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDblack/pseuds/KDblack
Summary: Fusing feels a bit like dying and a bit like being reborn. One step to the side of ceasing to exist, 180 degrees off being yourself. It makes Vegeta a ghost in his body, a shifting mass of memory and emotion, irrevocably linked to both a man he should loathe – and doesn’t – and the overpowering being they combine to make. ‘Overpowering’ is the correct word, because both Vegito and Gogeta sweep past Vegeta’s armour like it’s nothing but dust.Kakarot doesn’t mind it. Of course he doesn’t. He’s spent his whole life trying to transcend himself. Why would he be concerned about succeeding?(Kakavege Week 2021 - Day 3: Afterlife)
Relationships: Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Series: KakaVege Week 2021 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2209920
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23
Collections: Kakavege Week





	The Story of After

Fusing feels a bit like dying and a bit like being reborn. One step to the side of ceasing to exist, 180 degrees off being yourself. It makes Vegeta a ghost in his body, a shifting mass of memory and emotion, irrevocably linked to both a man he should loathe – and doesn’t – and the overpowering being they combine to make. ‘Overpowering’ is the correct word, because both Vegito and Gogeta sweep past Vegeta’s armour like it’s nothing but dust. 

Kakarot doesn’t mind it. Of course he doesn’t. He’s spent his whole life trying to transcend himself. Why would he be concerned about succeeding? Vegeta’s the one who clings desperately to the limits of his own self. Whose heart stutters in fear as the change sweeps over them, every time.

As if that weren’t disconcerting enough, each manner of fusion has its own side effects. Vegeta has dim memories of floating in an incubator pod as a child, serene but powerless, safe but separated from the world by a thick pane of glass. Being Gogeta reminds him of that. In that state, the only thing that really exists for Vegeta is the blurry shape of Kakarot and Gogeta’s steady stream of consciousness, murmured directly into both of their heads. It’s not exactly comforting. Kakarot has no such memories or the associated baggage, and Vegeta resents the fact that he knows this. Unfortunately, being the same person, however briefly, has a way of eroding the barriers between individuals, no matter how hard you try to shore them up.

Vegito is worse. At least being inside Gogeta only muffles Vegeta’s mind and cuts him off from everything outside. There’s no room for ‘Vegeta’ inside Vegito. Everything he is, everything he’s ever been – it’s all gone, dissolved into something new, a bright and terrible god that looks at him and finds him wanting. It doesn’t matter that Vegito is equally dismissive of Kakarot as a separate entity. The sensation of being erased and absorbed is the most terrifying thing Vegeta’s ever experienced.

That fusion wasn’t meant to break. It didn’t divide them up perfectly. There’s part of Vegeta that now buzzes beneath Kakarot’s sun-browned skin, glinting behind guileless eyes. An ugly part. It burned like acid in the back of Vegeta’s throat and drove him to terrible heights for his pride. It’s gone now, replaced by a sliver of Kakarot’s hard-earned calm, a piece of reassuring serenity that’s already built itself into Vegeta’s foundation. A slice of paradise retrieved from a truer death than anything else Vegeta has experienced.

He’ll never get that poisonous piece of himself back. If he’s honest, he doesn’t want it back. He just doesn’t know how Kakarot can stand having such a terrible thing inside him.

“It’s fine,” Kakarot says, smiling like an imbecile, the one time Vegeta broaches the subject. “It doesn’t hurt.”

As if Vegeta could believe that.


End file.
